think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
