Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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