so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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