I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.