Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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