Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize