This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
