If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
