So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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