I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
