And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
