My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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