Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
where are my pants?
in the oven.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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