i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Houston, we have a squirter
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize