halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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