I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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