piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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