So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want her autograph on my taint
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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