I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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