i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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