Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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