I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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