I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
