Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
