woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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