didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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