LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
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Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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