When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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