my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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