never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
