Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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