GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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