yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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