We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
