considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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