party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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