I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
