So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
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Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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