Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
