Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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