I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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