I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
