maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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