bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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