matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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