I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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