I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
