I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
