Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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