Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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