dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
