i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Me too!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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