I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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