This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
