So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
